I was very envious of this ability, wondering were and how I had lost it. Upon reflection, I believe as I got older I let go of the ability to forgive, as I thought it was a form of weakness. As if by forgiving someone for such awful things meant I was weak or letting people walk all over me. I wanted to protect myself and not have people think less of me.
It took me many years to re-learn this ability. What I learned was that a huge burden had finally been lifted from me. I didn't feel so much pain, I was free to really live and enjoy the other amazing moments in my life. What I didn't know then was that when I wasn't able to forgive I had let that other person take control. They were indirectly controlling my happiness, filling me with sadness, hatred, animosity and frustration. By no means am I perfect but I can say that the majority of the time I am able to be that child that I was so envious of and forgive and let go!